30 days of Truth - Day 1

This is part of the "30 Days of Truth" series I'm taking part in at Live Beautiful.

Day 1: Something You Hate About Yourself.

Ohhhh geez. Now don't get me wrong...I'm not all into self-loathing or anything, but on certain days (and today just happens to be one of them) I could really go off on a tangent about things I dislike about myself.

• I'm a procrastinator...and I suffer unnecessarily because of it.
• My body is just ICK. (Yes...I realize I just had a baby but I am simply miserable with how I look...)
• As I get older, I get more and more impatient...

But more than any of those things, I struggle with the "J" word...yes...jealousy.

Ugh. I see photographer's making it happen. SAHM's able to stay home with their babies. Fairytale romance in movies. Lottery winners. And while I am honestly and truly happy for all of these people, I wish so badly sometimes to have what they have. It's frustrating and counter-productive, but sometimes I can't help myself. I think what frustrates me about it more than anything (well, besides that fact that jealousy is pointless) is that I just need to DO something about it to get where I want to be in life. Obviously I can't will myself to win the lottery, and I am rational enough to know that "The Notebook" is a story...not real life...but I CAN keep doing my photography and hopefully someday will be making enough that I will be able to BE the Stay at home Mom I want to be. I just have to keep at it and not let the nasty old green-eyed monster get me down.




Some days, if you ask me if I have jealous tendencies, I'd say F@#% that. But on a crappy day like I've had today...yeah...sometimes I am. And I guess I just need to get over it or do something about it. And someday, I will...and that's the TRUTH.

xo